Were you funny at school?
I was, actually. That was the only thing
I was really good at. I had that one teacher,
she was just like, “Do you know what? You’re really
good at performing arts.” You know that one teacher that
just cares? No, but go on. You were a teacher as well, right?
I was, yeah, and I didn’t care. You didn’t care? What did you teach,
though? Maths. Oh, yeah. Maths teachers don’t
care about nothing, man. I think, as a student, I was
always… I wasn’t a naughty kid. If I was in detention,
I’d stay in detention. That’s not a definition of
not a naughty kid. “If I was in detention,
I’d stay in detention.” And I’d be, like,
“No! I’m doing my time, guys!” So did you have any issues with
any of your teachers? Um… I had this really cool,
like, rain jacket… Right. ..when I was in school. Like, Nike rain jacket thing,
like an anorak type thing. I lost it in PE once. Yeah. I was
like, “Oh, why did that happen?” And then you know that, sometimes,
that’s just gone, some kid’s nicked it, and that’s it.
I remember being in sixth form, and I seen the PE teacher
wearing that same jacket. And I was, like… I see him walking
on the concourse, and I was, like… No way! I’ve seen the coat, and
I was, like, “Bruv! That’s my coat!” It’s like something in slow motion. What?! But it was just, like…
It had been, like, two years since. What do you think happened, then?
Do you think he stole the jacket and then, two years later, that day, he’d gone, “I think
it’s safe now”? Most probably, yeah. You know that’s when you realise
that teachers are, like… They’re kind of like…
Humans? They’re humans, yeah. They’re humans, yeah. I mean, I taught in a few schools, and what I can tell you
from experience is most PE teachers are pricks. Yeah. I guess what PE teachers do… “That’s nice, those are some nice
Nike trainers. What size are you?” Teachers forget
how much of an impact they have, do you know what I mean?
I had this… Like… I was teaching sixth form, and there was this kid that
wasn’t… He was, like, 18, wasn’t turning up
to his physics lessons, right? So I called him into the office
and I said to him, “Look, what’s going on with you?”
And he just wouldn’t talk to me. And I was, like, “Mate,
I’m trying to help you out here. “Do you want to do physics?
And he was, like, “Yeah.” And then
he carried on messing about. And I kept calling him,
and he was just being really
shitty with me, right? Like, a real attitude with me. And eventually, I said to him,
“Look, what is going on here?” And then he goes, um,
“Four years ago, “you stepped in to
take over the basketball team, “and I was a substitute
and you never brought me on.” Were you kind of sitting there,
just, like, “He’s not forgiven me, has he?”
He’s not forgiven me.” Yeah. So I had to apologise to him, and then he was able to
talk to me about… Did he come to the lessons
after that? Yeah. Oh, see? But I guess he will never forget
that, though. Yeah. I hope, if he watches this, I just
want to give him the message that… you were shit at basketball. You were so shit. I can’t even believe you were a sub.